SFW LAUNCH   Star Fruit Wars Episode 1 - The Vegetable Plot Thickens In a galaxy far, far away, so far, in fact that no-one has seen the trailer yet, the inhabitants of the planet Ratatouine, highly evolved vegetables, fruits and assorted plant life, are involved in a bitter life or death struggle. The planet's original dominant species of humanoids comes to a sticky end when their experiments with genetically modified food combine with the 'greenhouse effect' with devastating results. Celeriac, endowed with the power of 'The Juice', a mysterious supernatural force, secretly begins his own experiments and creates a race of intelligent fruit and vegetables which he uses to take control of the planet. In an adjacent laboratory, at the same time as Celeriac, another, even more potent being comes into fruition - Carambola, the Star Fruit. He is also blessed with the power of 'The Juice' but whereas Celeriac is cruel and evil, Carambola is good and pure. Unfortunately, he has his stalk so deeply embedded up his own Aspidistra that he fails to see the cruelty and excesses going on around him and decides to embark on a pilgrimage to the most remote region of the planet. And so, while he lives his life of meditation, performing Tai Chi, contemplating on the meaning of life and being at one with 'The Juice', the cruelty and oppression continue. Our story commences 1000 years after Celeriac's 'birth' when the humanoids have been totally subjugated and, apart from those cultivated on human farms, exterminated. The fruit, vegetables and plants have evolved in many different ways; some by the design of Celeriac but others, especially in the more remote areas, quite naturally. We shall learn more of the natural history of Ratatouine as the story progresses but for now the main factions and characters to concern us are as follows: The Evil Empire, still ruled by Celeriac whose goals are total domination of the planet, the galaxy, the universe, time travel and, eventually to retire to a quiet bungalow by the sea. The rebel forces, opposed to the empire, led by Princess Lychee, who hates bungalows. Mercenaries, the most famous of which are Pecan Solo and Cashewbacka, who quite like bungalows because they hold their price well. Space pirates, led by the ruthless, if somewhat stupid Yabba the Nut, who thinks that bungalows are where criminal buns are hanged. The Vegi Knights, a mystical order who possess the power of 'the Juice'. Amongst the most exalted of these are Onliwun Kohlrabi and his apprentice, Aubergine Kennobi, who are far too enlightened to give a fig about bungalows. Fluke Skyrunner, a young bean plagued by chance and coincidence who, just by chance (naturally) discovers that he too has the power of 'The Juice' within him. Fluke already lives in a bungalow where he runs a successful business repairing old droids and robots. Over the centuries many rumours have circulated about the existence of the Star Fruit, but the lack of evidence means that he remains a mythical figure. To some, a deity to be prayed to in times of despair. To many more, a messianic figure who will one day return to bring peace and harmony to the galaxy. Daft Mulberry, a Vegi Knight who has gone over to the daft side and is Celeriac's most trusted general, receives news from one of his fruit sauces, that Carambola does in fact exist. Celeriac knows that if this news were to reach the rebels, it would strengthen their resistance against him and possibly thwart his plans. He mobilises his forces, which include his dreaded Grenadilla Guards, in an attempt to capture the Star Fruit with the intention of subjecting him to his latest invention -a machine that will transfer Carambola's knowledge and power into his own body. Princess Lychee hears of the discovery and of Celeriac's intentions and embarks on her own mission to find the Star Fruit and try to convince him to help her people in their struggle for freedom... Every story has a big onion Here's what the fruit press are saying about Star Fruit Wars "A plum"- Daily Zest "A little gem"- Daily Lettuce "Star Fruit Wars is the pick of the bunch"- Grape Weekly "A punnet full of puns"- Strawberry Sentinel "The best cartoon strip ever" - Sir Vin's Mum Look out for the first instalment of 'Star Fruit Wars', our new weekly cartoon strip, written and illustrated exclusively for Fresh Produce Journal by Sir Vin/CS1.